failure adverse

This is the Alpine Tower at Seven Springs mountain resort.  It is 50 feet tall.  

I have come to realize I am failure adverse.  There are a lot of things I don't do because I'm afraid I won't be great at it.  I don't join the choir or take singing lessons because I'm afraid I won't be good at it.  Now that's crazy for two reasons:  1) I love to sing.  2) lessons are how you get good.  I know that, but I'm still afraid.

Heck, sometimes I'm afraid to go out for a run because it might suck.  

About ten years ago, I climbed a 30 foot rock wall as part of a teambuilding day at a ropes course.  It was hard, and I was scared.  I got to the top, but I didn't feel good about it because I wasn't The Best at it.  I didn't kick that wall's butt.  Since then, I've actually passed up opportunities to do more rock climbing because I was afraid I'd be bad at it.  Then I met the Alpine Tower.  All of my nieces and nephews gave it a shot.  All of my sisters gave it a shot.  How could I be the only one who wouldn't?  So I got myself strapped into the harness.  

I did it!  I climbed that tower and it was terrifying, but I felt great about it.  I didn't panic, I didn't fall, and I climbed it just the way I had watched 11 other people climb it before me.  It felt good, but it wasn't quite enough.  I had to go back and conquer the rock wall, too.  So the next morning, I put on my sneakers and kicked butt on a 24 foot rock wall.   I was scared but I did it and now I can't wait for my next shot at climbing a rock wall.  And you know what?  It won't matter if I don't kick butt the next time, cause I know I've already done it.